A Cool Girl Guide To: Being Like Everyone Else

By Esme Carty

If you’re looking to social media on how to dress like a cool girl, be a cool girl, or act like a cool girl, you’ve already failed. Yikes! It’s harsh but true. Cool is essentially a slang term that—upon researching—can’t exactly be defined since it is a subjective adjective that has no real description. Hence why all these articles and videos aren’t of any real value since ‘cool’ does not look any certain way. On one hand, someone’s idea of ‘cool’ will look very different from another person’s; whether it is due to cultural differences, socioeconomic differences, generational differences, etc. On the other hand, you can find two very different traits or things to be cool but continue to use the same adjective.

After looking at multiple dictionary sites, the major through line on what is considered “cool,” is to be fashionable and attractive. However, does that mean if you see someone you think is cool, they must be following fashion trends and attractive? Speaking for myself, I’d say no. I find many people and things to be cool but usually it has little to do with physical attributes, and all to do with a certain confidence that person holds. Have you ever seen someone attempting to be cool? They’re following the trends, they’re acting nonchalant, they’re talking about the latest topics in culture. It feels tried. And if anything, trying to be anything you’re not is, like, totally uncool.

I went down a rabbit hole of “cool girl” TikToks to get a feel for what is considered “universally cool.” Here are some different tips from self-proclaimed cool girl gurus:

• “Cool girls write physical to-do/grocery lists”

• “Cool girls have a sophisticated palate”

  • Examples included liking olives, oysters, and wine. So if you aren’t sophisticated and don’t like olives or oysters, I literally don’t know what to tell you.

• “Cool girls have bleach blonde hair”

• “Cool girls have pink hair”

• “Cool girls are in rock bands”

• “Cool girls have fun snacks”

GUYS STAND UP! Being cool is not a laundry list of things to do or how to look, it is literally to be you and maybe someone will perceive you as cool. All of my friends are cool in one way or another, not because they’re following a guide but because they are literally untethered from any sort of “how-to exist” manual. Thankfully, we are not the only ones to feel this way. There is a huge amount of discourse on the subject of “being cool” and how people are taking it upon themselves to diagnose you with cool girl syndrome.

A creator decided to speak on the idea that it is not that deep to criticize these guides: it’s not like they’re saying you’re ugly if you don’t follow these rules. I totally understand this take, and this article is not to slash people for making cool girl content, it’s got us speaking. However, there are people who struggle with coming up with their own identity and while wearing a pair of shoes you wouldn’t normally choose or picking up a niche hobby isn’t a danger; it can throw people further away from themselves. Living inauthentically makes it harder to find your people, which just puts you in an uncomfortable position. I have had friends that I love but don’t necessarily mesh with in a way I have with my friends now, and while we had good times, there always was an emptiness. I suppose this doesn’t need to a PSA, but all I’d like to say is take the “cool girl” stuff with a grain of salt. Maybe some of the things are cool to you, but if they are not, you aren’t missing out, you’re just looking through the window of someone else’s life.